Tuesday, August 22, 2006

The test

Assume, for a moment, that you are a wrestling fan (since I am, that part is easy). For those of us who enjoy the sport, the most entertaining wrestlers in the last 20-odd years list would incude Ric Flair and Kurt Angle. They're up around the top of my list, but they'd be somewhere high up on almost any fans' lists. Now, assume you can travel through time and put together a triple-threat match (three wrestlers in the ring at once), and I got to pick the first two - and I picked Flair from around 1990 (he was about 40 then, and at his peak) and the Angle of 2001 - before his chronic injuries started to take a toll on his in-ring style.

Now, here's the test of how good a wrestler is. If you had the aforementioned triple-threat, and Wrestler X was the third man, would you:

(1) Travel to the arena to see it, no matter where?

(2) Go get a ticket if it were in your area?

(3) Order the pay-per-view eagerly?

(4) Order it reluctantly?

(5) Watch it if it were a free TV match?

(6) Watch it if you had nothing better to do?

(7) Change the channel because you can't stand the third guy?

(8) Or travel to the arena in the hopes you might be able to wing a bottle at the third guy?

To me, for instance, if Chris Benoit was in that match as the third man, I'd probably go get a ticket to see that show (2). Were it the Blackhole of Suck that is Randy Orton, it would be either (6) or (7), with an outside possibility of (8) if I'd had a bad week. Were Eddie Guererro still alive and at his best, it might be (1). Almost any wrestler's skill and charisma can be tested using this guide. I mean it.

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