Thursday, March 29, 2007

So I'm going to update my website soon...

I'm working (seriously) on some new pages for my company website, and one of the things I am really doing is a page about customers. I spent ten minutes writing it up this way just to vent three years' worth of bile, but the actual live text will be substantially different... (except for, maybe, the first paragraph or so - that might stay, kinda)

Can We Help You?

At JH Turiel, we're friendly, flexible, and we've got experience with darn near everything that matters. But we're not for everyone. And we're not always the best value out there, either. Before you call us, you should consider the following:

Is your PC just plain broken? Well, when a single PC breaks, that's what those big national chains with matching uniforms and funky looking cars are for. They're fast, and cheap. Of course, they'll just replace the part and/or reinstall Windows instead of curing the problem, but we might take longer than them and charge more to fix it the right way.

Did your antivirus subscription lapse two years ago? We get mad at you when you let that happen. And if you bring us in, we'll make darn well sure you don't get to do that again. Heck, we might even take away your credit card and use it to buy you a copy of AVG or something to protect yourself with!

Do you go off to your happy place when someone is trying to teach you something? We won't smack you to wake you up, but we may just walk away from you in disgust.

We don't nickel-and-dime our customers. We keep track of our time fairly, give away a lot of help that most folks charge for (we do most of our phone support for free, for instance), and don't sweat the small stuff as a matter of company policy. We've got a really good reputation for that. If you're the sort who calls up to whine about charges, or demands free visits because of your own mistakes, then do us a favor. Lose our number.

Also, if you think that your IT bills are something to pay "whenever", you probably shouldn't use us. We don't normally treat your problems as something to fix "whenever" (that darned professional ethics thing), so don't tempt us!

Like I said, the real page will be different. Way different. And any customers who have read this far - odds are you are more than savvy enough so that you know this doesn't apply to you. Feels good to type a few lines as Evil Josh, though.

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