Friday, January 02, 2004

Things I Hate (on the roads)

This is my Mass. roadway edition:

- People who think "Right Turn on Red" means even in the face of oncoming traffic.

- In a related vein, people who can't understand that "Right Turn on Red" means you don't necessarily have to wait for the next light.

- The person who goes through a two-way (or more) stop sign. Right after the person in front of them. Without stopping or letting anyone else go, either. A multi-way Stop means you stop, let the next person go, then wait your turn. If you screw it up, you deserve to be broad-sided.

- People who speed up to keep you from merging into traffic.

- Anyone who deliberately takes up more than one parking space. You all deserve to get keyed with extreme prejudice.

- Drivers with big vehicles (SUV's, pickups, vans, or minivans) that drive like it's a sports car.

- Drivers with little vehicles that are holier-than-thou about it.

- Motorcyclists who tune their bikes to the point where you hear them a mile away. Loud pipes may save lives, but really loud ones just tick people off, Snake.

- Anyone with 200db stereos that runs them that way. I hope your brains liquefy in the drivers' seat.

- Cell phones. The ones that you weld to your ear.

- Any idiot smoker who tosses butts out of the car. They're called ashtrays for a reason, nimrods! If Darwin is right, they'll all die eventually in smoking-induced house fires before they have the chance to torch another forest.

- People who tailgate, except for when they're following:

- The morons that deliberately drive 5 or more miles per hour below the speed limit. In such a way that you can't pass them.

- Anyone who doesn't signal. Or has broken signals and doesn't fix them.

- That fiendish invention known as the rotary.

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