Thursday, March 29, 2007

So I'm going to update my website soon...

I'm working (seriously) on some new pages for my company website, and one of the things I am really doing is a page about customers. I spent ten minutes writing it up this way just to vent three years' worth of bile, but the actual live text will be substantially different... (except for, maybe, the first paragraph or so - that might stay, kinda)

Can We Help You?


At JH Turiel, we're friendly, flexible, and we've got experience with darn near everything that matters. But we're not for everyone. And we're not always the best value out there, either. Before you call us, you should consider the following:


Is your PC just plain broken? Well, when a single PC breaks, that's what those big national chains with matching uniforms and funky looking cars are for. They're fast, and cheap. Of course, they'll just replace the part and/or reinstall Windows instead of curing the problem, but we might take longer than them and charge more to fix it the right way.


Did your antivirus subscription lapse two years ago? We get mad at you when you let that happen. And if you bring us in, we'll make darn well sure you don't get to do that again. Heck, we might even take away your credit card and use it to buy you a copy of AVG or something to protect yourself with!


Do you go off to your happy place when someone is trying to teach you something? We won't smack you to wake you up, but we may just walk away from you in disgust.


We don't nickel-and-dime our customers. We keep track of our time fairly, give away a lot of help that most folks charge for (we do most of our phone support for free, for instance), and don't sweat the small stuff as a matter of company policy. We've got a really good reputation for that. If you're the sort who calls up to whine about charges, or demands free visits because of your own mistakes, then do us a favor. Lose our number.


Also, if you think that your IT bills are something to pay "whenever", you probably shouldn't use us. We don't normally treat your problems as something to fix "whenever" (that darned professional ethics thing), so don't tempt us!


Like I said, the real page will be different. Way different. And any customers who have read this far - odds are you are more than savvy enough so that you know this doesn't apply to you. Feels good to type a few lines as Evil Josh, though.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Chuck Norris Facts (some of my favorites)

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of animals Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Followup

I called the police department to follow up - they checked out warrant-free, so they were brought back to the department and then run out of town.

Interesting night

Tonight was "different". While on my way home from the BNUG board meeting, my wife and boy were menaced, if you will, by a drunk and stupid couple who were searching the neighborhood for an imagined friend's house. Jane called our next door neighbor, who had been visited by the yahoos, to find this out - she never opened the door or responded to their knocks and doorbell rings herself.

Meanwhile, David was frightened by this whole fuss, but announced to Jane that if they bugged her or came in the house he would take care of hitting them with a baseball bat. Good kid. Jane called the cops, but they'd wandered off.

So I arrived home to hear of this, and I was able to get David to go to sleep by reassuring them that, if they turned out to be bad and not just stupid, I would break them for him and save David the trouble. I'm a big guy. I'm OK at stuff like that. I also told David that, while his offer was very brave, the best thing in the house to hit bad people with was Daddy.

So, a couple of hours later, Jane has just gone upstairs for bed and I'm down in the living room getting ready to turn off the lights - when suddenly, the doorbell rings. I head over only to see the guy (a short fellow with curly hair, an unsteady gait, and a tell-tale odor about him) heading back down the walk. After a brief confrontation, I sent him away rather vociferously, but since they didn't vacate the neighborhood quickly enough the police arrived and took them away. It appeared semi-voluntary - probably destined to spend the night drying out.

The woman waved up at us as she was getting in the police car. Hopefully that's not an indicator of future stupid actions on their part. I would rather not have to defend my family.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Shocked, I say!

What? You say that a number of WWE wrestlers used steroids and HGH, even some who don't have massive physiques? I can only answer that accusation with one word:

Duh.

Seriously, is there any surprise here? Looking at a lot of these guys, the "look" they are pushed to deliver, and the grueling schedule they work (most of them wrestle 3-4 days per week, plus heavy gym time, with no off-weeks all year), it's no wonder. Not to excuse them, but one of the main reasons professional athletes take steroids is to speed recovery time and help them heal from injuries better. And most other athletes get an off-season to recover. Wrestlers don't.

I will say one thing in the defense of the WWE - pretty much all the steroid use documented in the current investigation happened in the time before they finally imposed drug testing. Since then, a lot of the guys (see, for instance, Masters, Chris F.) have vanished on testing-related hiatuses and returned with notably smaller bodies. Now, if only they could start taking some time off during the year for reasons other than injuries without fear of losing their spot, it might really improve.

In other news, I bricked my Treo again today. Had to go all the way to Burlington to replace it. Grumble.

Monday, March 12, 2007

Apple hints

I'm expecting some kind of new Mac in the next week or so - possibly as soon as tomorrow. Why? It's pretty simple, actually, so I'll lay out my reasoning:

- We know that the 10.4.9 revision (likely the final Tiger update) is pretty much done, with no new seeds issued in about two weeks. Normally, that would have hit the street by now. But holding it back probably means new CPU support is being spliced into it.

- Leopard is allegedly real close to going RTM. When Apple announces it, they won't want any Macs sharing that burst of publicity.

- There haven't been any new systems since October, when the Core 2 MacBook Pros shipped.

- Intel has been shipping quad-core Xeons for a couple of months now. No Mac Pro update yet, however...

- A new support chipset that enables true 64-bit goodness with Core 2 is shipping now, and it has improved graphics support.

My predictions:
Upgraded Mac Pros in the next week or so. Upgraded iMacs and MacBook Pros soon afterwards. At least one of them will come with and require 10.4.9. Minis will get Core 2 upgrades before Leopard ships.

And Leopard is announced in mid-April, with shipping scheduled for May.

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